So I e-mailed the folks at GopherMods.com about my PS3's little accident, and since I sprang for the six-month warranty instead of the two-month one, my console is still under warranty and therefore gets FREE SERVICE.
All I have to say is, if you are asked if you want extra insurance on anything, whether it be a rental car, shipping, goods and services, do what I did and take it. You never know when you might need it, you know?
*P.S. If anybody out there would like to help me with getting a new PS3 Slim to replace the shitty one, please feel free to kick the tip jar, or spam it anywhere you can to folks who would lend a helping hand, or even just a few nickels and dimes. I'd really appreciate the help.